Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Technorati Monster Brutally Murdered in Downtown San Francisco

[San Francisco, CA] Hundreds of horrified passers-by looked on helplessly today, as a mob of bloggers and other ne'er do-wells cornered the Technorati monster in an alley and proceeded to maim and mutilate the poor creature until it died.

Police arrested 19 people and estimate that 20-30 are still at large. The only description they could give was that most of them had beards and were wearing pizza stained t-shirts and open-toe sandals. It was not immediately clear whether the description applied to the men, the women or both.

Police Chief Heather Fong said, "I wouldn't wish on anyone what happened to this poor creature. It gives a whole new meaning to backend issues."

The crowd had been gathering outside of Technorati's headquarters, complaining about service issues, when the monster, which has a history of escaping, was seen leaving the building by the side door. They immediately gave chase brandishing wireless keyboards and swinging computer mouses around their heads. As they disappeared down the alley, they could be heard chanting "doh, doh, doh" over and over. When the police arrived, the mob dispersed, leaving a bloody pile of fur. Several of the keyboards had disappeared and could not be found. The Authorities are waiting for the results of the post-mortem.

Police cordoned off the area for several hours. Souvenir pieces of fur were available from street vendors within fifteen minutes.

Calls to Technorati headquarters were not immediately returned.